Who's Doing The Talking?
Becoming aware of your influences
Who were the primary people in your life growing up? (Example: authority figure, parent, sibling, teacher, member of your community, coach, family member, etc.)
Who was the loudest voice in your head?
Who has that voice belonged to over the years? (ex. mother...then yourself...then partner...then yourself. It can fluctuate!)
When did you notice your own voice talking the loudest? Was it at a certain phase of life or situation-based? Would it talk from a place of rebellion to make sure it was heard, or from a place of declaration and empowerment?
When do you notice now when someone else is doing the talking? Is it in certain circumstances or when making certain decisions?
Who does that voice belong to?
EVOLUTION OF VOICES:
Who do you think was the primary voice in your head/gut instinct when you were a child?
Who do you think the primary voice in your head was when you were a teenager?
Who do you think the primary voice in your head was in early adulthood?
Who do you think the primary voice in your head is now?
When is your gut speaking from trauma or self-sabotage?
"Who’s the voice of my gut instinct?"
SIT WITH THIS QUESTION!
Easy exercise: close your eyes, take a deep breath, ask yourself the question, “who’s the voice of my gut instinct?” and wait for the answer. Trust that the answer is right, don’t question yourself. If this answer feels upsetting, that’s okay. This is more awareness and with more awareness comes trust in ourselves. Use EFT if needed for extra support.
Society
Preaching about society and EFT exercise for unlearning
“Even though I can’t tell the difference between my own instincts and what I’m ingrained with…”
“Even though it feels overwhelming to try to discern the difference between what I believed, and what I actually know to be true.”
“Even though this feels like a very big undertaking and unlearning, I know it’s safe to explore what no longer feels true because…”
“I’m capable of unlearning because I deeply and completely love and accept myself.”
Remember: it’s okay to question yourself. YOU have complete permission to unlearn things that no longer fit who you are or who you want to be.
Counsel 1: Key Decisions
Reflecting on how key decisions were made
Refer back to your blueprint or list some new key decisions you’ve made in your life.
(examples: entering into or leaving a relationship, job change, schooling, finding a therapist, having/not having children, setting a boundary, moving, etc.)
We're focusing more on the decision aspect: it’s not the actual milestone, but the process in making the decision to get to the milestone. If using your blueprint, focus on the arrows that connect the milestones, those are where the decisions were made.
Now list some of the factors that helped you to make these decisions in the first place:
Recommendations?
Someone’s input?
Your own knowing?
Following the assumed step you were "supposed" to take?
guidance outside of ourselves vs. our own guidance.
Who did you seek counsel from?
Did they support your own knowing/instincts?
Did you act on their guidance and if so, what happened?
Did you give away your sense of knowing?
At what point did you notice/realize that you had or hadn't trusted yourself?
How did you feel afterwards?
Did the feeling afterwards validate your level of commitment to your decision, or leave you more confused?
KEEP IN MIND:
If you're having an A-HA moment after seeing how your decision-making process was impacted, be easy with yourself. It's completely normal to feel different emotions when you have hindsight and clarity on your side (the next 2 sections will help clear these emotions!).
How you move forward with your instincts is more important now.
Remember: It’s okay for you to know even if others don’t understand it.
Counsel 2: EFT Exercise
More counsel discovery & EFT clearing around obligation and shame
Does your counsel support your truest sense of self or your self-sabotage?
“Even though they spelled out what I should do and I don’t want to, that’s okay…”
“Even though I hate disappointing people and don’t want to hurt their feelings or let them down…”
“Even though they might love me less for not listening to them…”
“Even though the dynamic is that I always listen to them and I’m going against that, that’s okay. I’m meant to change. I’m allowed to grow…”
“Even though their advice might be very valid, it’s okay for me to approach my own knowing first. It’s okay for me to hear my own knowing first. And sometimes it will align with theirs, and other times it won’t. But either way, I know myself, I hear myself, I listen to myself…”
"...and I deeply and completely love and accept myself."
EFT Exercise: Power
EFT for acceptance around power dynamics
“Even though I trusted someone else’s knowing over my own…”
“Even though I gave away my power in that moment…”
“Even though I felt like someone else had the right answer for me…”
“Even though I felt bad to not follow their advice…”
“Even though I betrayed myself in the process, that’s okay…”
"...and I deeply and completely love and accept myself."